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♥MWUAH♥
Bubbly
All smiles and laughter
Farhana
twenTEEN
Student
♥♥♥ ♥♥♥
I DREAM:
I want a house by the BEACH
100% Health
Be with my FAMILIA for eternity & beyond
I wana WALK-IN CLOSET
I want a PIANO
Let me ride a HORSE
I wana Swim with the DOLPHINS
Oh i wana LEARN to SWIM
Let me Take the PLANE
& Travel around the WORLD
♥♥♥ ♥♥♥
I WANT:
Lets buy me another ECLAT D'ARPEGE Lanvin perfume
Lets buy me a fresh supply of fruits and veggies everyday(:
Lets buy me a mini lappy
Lets buy me a whole new wadrobe
Lets buy me pretty pretty dresses and heels
Lets buy me a Chanel handbag
Lets buy me a big Fendi bag to lump all my junks in
♥♥♥ ♥♥♥
YOURS TRULY
♥♥♥
Monday, December 08, 2008@12:13 AM
ponder...wonder
Pardon me while i rant...I know I need to get these out lest I start to choke. Its gona be a boring entry which requires a lot of thinking, so dont bother if you're sleepy ok? =)
Sometimes we dont bother to question ourselves why things are like this instead of that.
why we chose to do this instead of that.
Sometimes we dont bother to question ourselves why things are like this instead of that.
why we chose to do this instead of that.
we just....go with the flow
and this ends when someday, someone probes a question which then forces your brain to rise to a pause and start searching for an answer. The Answer.
It dawned upon me a few days ago when Mr.X (name unrevealed to protect his identity.hehehe) asked me why im still unattached. The first assumption he made was that im being too choosy and fussy.
and of course i couldnt come out with an answer right there and then since i'd never given this matter a good thought before. So the best thing on my mind was to say that there's more to it than being whatever he assumed my reason was.
I've walked in endless circles. And being human, made lots of mistakes.
I got tired of losing directions, and so now I'm here sitted to conceptualise the wrong steps i'd made.
i realised, with every race I sprint for the pursuit of others, I'd actually neglected the tracks of my own.
which results in me absconding myself from the harsh reality of being in a relationship.
I dont get it how someone could easily say the 3 sacred words within just weeks of getting to know you. Rushing blindly to meet the exigencies of love life. Is that what love is suppose to be?
As id said before, every thing i do, i have my reasons whether its a valid one or its just plain unacceptable. Waiting for The One is one thing, not wanting to break other's heart is another thing. and of course, the fear of not wanting to break our own heart too.
Sitting and watching the people around me with different situations. Being so in love for a moment and detached from love the next minute or vice versa.
Is love really a good thing? Or is it only kind to some and cruel to others?
And its bad enough when you realise that The One is someOne that can never be the One and you'll have to start again from square One.
I shall put all that on hold for now. There's so much more things to prioritise, and first on the list, will of course be my health. I have to (be forced to) suspend all my dance escapades and vent out my unused energy on mindless impulsive shopping.
Anyway, my moodswing has been getting out of hands lately and i'd been pissing so many people off. Not meant to be on purpose . Guess the health's the main culprit - again. (Yea i know, excuses) Dr.Shirley herself had said its natural for my mood to fluctuate due to the inevitable feeling of ubiquitous emotions, in simpler terms : Anxiety disorder. And it gets more depressing when u start pissing off loved ones without even realising it. Gosh, how depression can lead to oblivion and ignorance.
To people that i'd pissed off lately (family & friends), im sorry.
For once i agree with Elton John' s thoery of Apologies : Sorry seems to be the hardest word. (feeling2 philosophical. hehe)
I need to learn to put aside the mountain-full of ego thats readily embedded in my head.
Indeed, i bow to other's sincerity in making me a better person.
anyway,
2 days ago,
i got 3 bottles of my blood being sucked out by my family doc using syringes with the tiniest needles (due to my not-surprisingly fine veins) to be sent to labs for tests. results out soon :S
No im not nervous. No im not scared. IM TERRIFIED!
Its true. Too much pain results to immunity. I dont even know if the pain's really there or its just my imagination getting out of hand.
3 more days and the results are out. Only god knows exactly how im feeling now.
4 more days to DF exco meeting.
5 more days to the appointment day with the specialist. If things dont turn out good, God knows how my mood will be when we go to Genting and KL.
6 more days to the meetup with Fadhli and Gang
7more days to Genting and KL Getaway and release of sch Exam results.
Gosh i write the weirdest things when i cant go to sleep.
lastly, wishing all Muslims a....
Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha! =)
And its bad enough when you realise that The One is someOne that can never be the One and you'll have to start again from square One.
I shall put all that on hold for now. There's so much more things to prioritise, and first on the list, will of course be my health. I have to (be forced to) suspend all my dance escapades and vent out my unused energy on mindless impulsive shopping.
Anyway, my moodswing has been getting out of hands lately and i'd been pissing so many people off. Not meant to be on purpose . Guess the health's the main culprit - again. (Yea i know, excuses) Dr.Shirley herself had said its natural for my mood to fluctuate due to the inevitable feeling of ubiquitous emotions, in simpler terms : Anxiety disorder. And it gets more depressing when u start pissing off loved ones without even realising it. Gosh, how depression can lead to oblivion and ignorance.
To people that i'd pissed off lately (family & friends), im sorry.
For once i agree with Elton John' s thoery of Apologies : Sorry seems to be the hardest word. (feeling2 philosophical. hehe)
I need to learn to put aside the mountain-full of ego thats readily embedded in my head.
Indeed, i bow to other's sincerity in making me a better person.
anyway,
2 days ago,
i got 3 bottles of my blood being sucked out by my family doc using syringes with the tiniest needles (due to my not-surprisingly fine veins) to be sent to labs for tests. results out soon :S
No im not nervous. No im not scared. IM TERRIFIED!
Its true. Too much pain results to immunity. I dont even know if the pain's really there or its just my imagination getting out of hand.
3 more days and the results are out. Only god knows exactly how im feeling now.
4 more days to DF exco meeting.
5 more days to the appointment day with the specialist. If things dont turn out good, God knows how my mood will be when we go to Genting and KL.
6 more days to the meetup with Fadhli and Gang
7more days to Genting and KL Getaway and release of sch Exam results.
Gosh i write the weirdest things when i cant go to sleep.
lastly, wishing all Muslims a....
Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha! =)
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